Jesus Loved You Enough to Die for You

Their is a lot of bile floating around, hurt feelings, accusations... if you listen, you can easily drown in it. Their are things about the church that are troubling, and that is as it should be. Doubts, human error, cruelty, these things also exist among us. They have even affected our history and they continue to affect our attitudes today. We are also human, and we have made a human culture around the gospel of Christ. These things are to be expected... avoided, but expected.

These problems help us to grow. However, they are not your problems, I think.

I told you why I liked you, because to me you seemed to need a reason to like yourself. I can tell you I like you because you are kind, desirable physically and mentally, but I don't think that this will help you. You will say it's not true, that I'm seeing what I want to see, or worse, that my liking you comes out of a base sensuality unbefitting a follower of Christ, and you will wonder again if their is anything worthy inside of you to be loved.

I can tell you, I have felt the same for such a long time. I have grown weary of it. It plagued me on my mission, in my dating endeavors, haunting me like a crocodile just under still water; a gargantuan creature I always tip-toed around, careful not to wake. I was certain that if I woke that awful beast, it would consume all my friends and family, but I also knew that even if I grew black-plumed wings, I would never be able to out-fly it's grasp on me. It held my soul, because the crocodile was me.

I want so much for you to know that God loves you for who you are. I want you to see you--the real you. The you that Christ knows, that I am confident you are, that you feel you will never measure up to. When you do good, I don't want you to feel it is to erase some terrible flaw. Even if you have a fatal flaw, mending that weakness is the office of Jesus. Yours is to accept what He has done with all of your might, mind and strength.

I don't want you or anyone to leave the Church. In fact, it is my sincere desire that all people, old and young, free and bound, from every nation, kindred... gay or straight, nonsexual, reprobate, the pure and the unpure... everyone, everywhere could receive the Gospel.

I see myself as a sort of missionary for those who are in danger of leaving the Church over this issue. Not because I am better than anyone, although I am certainly in danger of thinking so every once in a while. I can feel my own frailty, I know that man, all men, are as nothing. I wonder if I could really help anyone, and yet watching others struggle with those same issues I have faced, that I continue to face, I cannot help wanting to 'fix' things.

A friend of mine reminded me this morning that I can't. People have to fix their own problems, ask for their own advice. But I can write, and I can listen, and I can try to be a good example. What else can I do?

What could I do or say to help you? If I ask you to accept your own feelings--to let go--will you feel I am tempting you to give in to your basest desires? Will you see that I want you to be happy and have a fulfilling relationship with whomever you ultimately decide to spend your eternities with?

Then how else can I get you to realize that you are a worthwhile human being, a spiritual child of a Heavenly Father who loves you just as He made you? If you cannot accept yourself, how can I help you to see that Jesus loved you enough to die for you? To feel all your pain and suffering; to know you in a way that no other person can?

I really want to know. I have too many friends who hate themselves. Gay friends, straight friends, it doesn't matter. And I just wish I knew what else I could say. I love you. You are worth loving. Stop focusing on what others think about you, and go love them! Love them like Jesus loves them.

Homosexuality and the Book of Mormon

I was born of amazingly goodly parents who taught me right from wrong, loved me, gave me rules and let me make my own choices; who encouraged me and helped me see reality; who aren’t perfect, but are well on their way there. They are considerate, caring, and faithful. My parents always try to do the right thing. It is not their fault that I am gay.

They taught me to love God with all my heart, to put my family first, to be responsible and work hard. I went to church every Sunday with them, and I learned about Jesus, the Atonement, about apostasy and prophets and apostles and the Restoration of the Gospel of Christ through Joseph Smith. If you are reading this and any of those words are unfamiliar to you, I’d invite you to look them up. They are incredibly important to me.

I’m writing this blog according to what the Book of Mormon says to me, a gay man trying to do what’s right. These are my opinions and should not be construed in any way as the Church’s official stance on homosexuality. But, we are told to apply the scriptures to our own lives. I discovered so much more hope for me than I had realized.

I learned that, even when we think our leaders are wrong, even when they are wrong, we should follow their advice. I learned that the heavens are not closed, and that God has a plan for His children. All of us, including His gay children, are a part of it. I learned that instead of just accepting things or rejecting them, we need to seek out answers for ourselves. I learned that sometimes when you try to do what is right, no one believes you, everyone hates you, and you become an outcast. I learned that sometimes doing what’s right looks wrong from the outside. I learned that God has made promises that He will always keep if we do our part. I learned that someday God will gather His people together again. And I learned all that in the first book of Nephi.

If you or a family member is struggling with homosexuality, I want you to consider what the Book of Mormon says about the issue. I know nothing is explicitly stated, but even that should tell you something. I’ve received answers that I didn’t think were possible.

I know I don’t know everything. I’m not perfect; I make huge mistakes just like everyone else. Is it possible to have faith that you don’t know? I know my views on homosexuality and the Church may be wrong. But I have faith that God will take care of us, if we trust in Him. I believe that I’ve received personal revelation, for myself, that the Church is true, and at the same time that homosexuality, that being gay, is not a sin. I might be wrong, but I have to trust in that Spirit that told me both of those things.

There is nothing wrong with you just because you are gay, or might be gay, or have a gay child. It is not a curse, it is not a sin, and it is not a punishment. However, it may be an opportunity, if you will let it be, for your faith to grow.